Category: Parent Talk
i'm not a parent, but I have recently gotten my first reborn doll, hoping this would be a better representation of a real infant because of the weight and realistic feel of the doll. No, there's no crying, drooling, spitting-up, fussing, squirming, etc, but dressing her has definitely gotten me used to putting on and removing onesies. I don't think they make those sleep and play outfits small enough for her, but I have a rough idea how to get those on and off too. The only things i'm having difficulty with at this point are correct use of these cute little swaddling blankets I found, finding adequate clothing for seasonal changes, and keeping her hair pretty. What would an infant this small wear in winter to keep warm if they had to be brought outside for any reason? yes, I have taken her out in public, but in colder weather, that probably won't be happening nearly as much, mostly because of my paranoia regarding an unexpected visit from CPS. lol imagining CPS people coming by only to discover they've been called to a home with a lifelike doll, not a real child. Wonder of that's happened before ...
i'm trying to find a way to safely wear the doll and be both productive and comfortable at the same time. also, want to make sure she's comfy too. I have two carriers, both of which have it so the infant is facing the mother's chest, not facing forward in such a way that they could lean back and use the mother's chest for head support. I would not feel comfortable wearing a child facing me, because i'd worry about his ability to breathe. Do all newborn carriers have baby positioned this way? (Not sure of the brand of the one I found, unfortunately.) For those of you who wore or wear your kids, what position(s) would you recommend for safely wearing a newborn around the house, and did you make your own wraps for them? Her limbs are not posable, so can't do a lot of bending and unbending of her legs or arms to position her in a true sitting pose, but she can do it if she's leaning back and using me for support.
I'm sorry if this post seems odd because of me referring to the doll in the third person. I wasn't sure where else to put this inquiry. no, not preparing for a child anytime soon, just fascinated with infant care, and trying to understand the different ways of swaddling the baby since reading isn't enough, and pictures don't do me any good either. while i understand this won't truly prepare me for the real experience of caring for another tiny human, i hope I can use some of these tools and tricks to care for a child one day. I say, better to start now with a doll than wait until later and not have a clue what i'm doing. also taking early childhood education classes for eventually teaching and working with children from birth to age 9, so this just might help, especially if I ever have an infant in my care whose parents practice babywearing.
Plus, cuddling the doll helps with keeping me calm for some reason. Nothing like de-stressing with a reborn. dog doesn't seem to care either, probably because the doll doesn't make noise. lol
Anyway, enough rambling from me. Suggestions welcome. and ... go ...
Naw, you'll not get a visit from anyone. Dolls look like dolls.
You probably get plenty of strange looks, but okay moving on. Smile.
The reason the carriers are made for child facing you, is it is easier to care for the child in this position.
Babies move their heads, so will not smother against your chest.
Plus, the head of the baby isn’t that close to your body, because the straps are adjustable, and the weight of a child causes it to lean back in the seat.
In the house, if you are caring a child, why not just in your hand?
If you are working, or doing things, putting the child in a seat in a location you know is safe, and you being blind, can hear it is better.
You don’t want to accidently bump the child’s head on something you don’t see while working or cleaning.
Plus, why.
You’ll make a wonderful mom I’d say, but be wear, you might get asked if you are mentally slow or something by someone.
Don’t take offense. Just explain your reasons for what you are doing. Smile.
Grown women don’t carry dolls about. Smile.
Why not go over to a daycare center in your neighborhood and give them some of your time, or a childrens hospital?
Yes, reborn-collecting is a hobby practiced by a lot of women. I haven't joined any online groups just yet on facebook or otherwise, but it is popular. I only plan ondealing with the one as I don't have the space for anymore. She is in a chair with a couple dangling toys right now.
Tell me more about the hobby?
What is the reason women are doing this?
I am honestly interested, because it is an interesting concept.
I could understand inside the house, but actually talking the dolls out would be interesting.
I'm actually very curious, too. I had no idea this kind of thing had become a hobby. It puts me in mind of the project they have kids do in middle school where they carry the doll around for a couple weeks. It's computerized so it can cry for various reasons, and has sensors so it can record things like how roughly it is handled, if it was fed or changed, etc. It's a little creepy, and yet fascinating. In that case it's to give young kids a very, very small idea of what they're in for when/if they had a baby. But what is the purpose in doing this as a grown woman? Is it a way to...get your maternal fix, if you will, without actually having to deal with the stuff that comes with raising a child?
Really good questions.
Yeah, I have to admit, this is a little strange. lol
Sometimes women collect these dolls for comfort after the loss of an infant either by miscarriage or after the child was born. others collect and care for reborns as a hobby. You can do a google search, or a search on youtube, and see nurseries for these things that women take the time to put together, as if the doll was real. I certainly don't think I'm going overboard.
For me, getting her was both for familiarizing myself with both caring for and wearing one, and for comfort. I find I'm calmer after spending time with her. I used to have the mind set of, "Gosh, that's so weird, and I dont' get it, why," but now that i've ventured into the world of reborn-collecting, I find it's not so strange. I don't plan on getting more than one of these simply because of lack of space, and I'm happy with the one I have.
So, for you, this is a way to relax, or a stress release?
I can understand the other reasons, but for yourself, you've not lost a child.
I'll read on this.
Thanks for explaining. I'll admit I still don't understand the appeal, but this one falls under the heading of to each their own, as long as it's not harming anyone.
lol I agree with the last 2 posts.
Yup, stress-reliever. Now, how the hell to go about introducing my parents to this concept of reborning, wihch is the art of creating these dolls), an dreborn-collecting ... still agonizing over the decision of whether or not to take her with me when I visit my parents this weekend. they do not know I have this doll.
Hmm. Maybe not yet, and try to talk to them about it before they see you with it? Or talk in general at first about it being a hobby some people have, to gage their reactions before you tell them you do this yourself? Just some brief suggestions.
Hi.
I did as you suggested and did some research on the reborn dolls.
I’ll have to admit, I’m fascinated to why women would feel the need for this?
I understand collecting things, but this goes beyond that in to actually treating the dolls like babies.
You put lots of time, care, and love in to them instead of real babies.
The article I most felt gave me good information had exactly my thoughts on it.
I said “Why not give your time to caring for real babies.”
Some other things as well.
Another thing I found interesting, is women who are not grieving, or whatever, the collectors are white, conservative and Christian.
I noticed you came to the parenting board to talk about methods for caring for babies, and I’m sorry I sort of hijacked your topic, but I just had never heard of such.
These dolls can be handmade, and some are costing as much as $15,000.
They are exactly the size and weight of real kids, and the creators take much time building them.
From my reading, it isn’t like model trains, or art, or what have you, this is more like having a real person in your life.
Am I on target here?
I don’t and am not trying to rub you wrong, but I honestly was blown away when I opened the topic and learned it was actually a doll you wanted information about.
If you’d prefer to explain privately, I’d seriously be interested in hearing about your experience.
My questions are.
How much did you pay for your doll? Does she have silicon skin, or what is she like?
What do you do, or will you do if you get in to a relationship with a man? Do you say, and this is Judy, or do you tell him before you invite him over??
Things like this.
Okay. I’ll let your topic get back to your questions, but understand, a real child is much different as to what it’s needs are, and how it reacts to situations.
Like you were concerned about it breathing.
A baby won’t have any problem with that at all, for natural, and other reasons.
You’d need to press a child face tight to your body on purpose to stop it breathing, and even that might be difficult, because of how bodies are made. A baby just isn’t going to be that tightly close.
Yes, you might want to tell them and send them some articles.
I don't know how strongly you feel about it, but maybe this would be one of these things you simply keep to yourself and friends or other people in to it?
Hmm. Ok.
I won't touch on the reborn doll topic right now; I'll save that for some other time.
But Joanne, the reason they don't have baby carriers that face the baby away from you is because those are actually much less safe for the infant. If you think about it, the baby is basically a bobblehead at first. The head flops back and forth; mostly forward than back actually. But given that there is no head control, it's actually much much safer for the head to fall forward rather than back, because if it flopps back, it could hurt the baby's fragile spinal column. Leaning the baby against the mother's chest creates a safety net for the baby, allows for the mom to interact with baby face to face, and gives baby a comfortable and familiar cushion upon which to rest its head. Believe me, for many reasons, baby wearing is much safer and advantageous when it's done face to face, and the baby really has no chance of smuthering itself unless you strap it so close to your body that the baby can't move it's head freely
Thanks for the feedback. Comparing a newborn infant to bobblehead dolls gave me a better understanding of why newborn carriers are made the way they are.
Thanks for that explanation, Bernadetta, as even I wasn't sure why baby-wearing carriers were made that way. I didn't figure the baby could smother or they wouldn't make them facing the chest, but now I get why. I don't plan to have a baby, nor do this reborn thing, but I do like information.
Wouldn't a pet give you more comfort than a doll? A pet can interact with you whereas a doll can't. I know they have service dogs for traumatize veterans and emotionally deprived seniors; we have a lady living in this building who has a small dog to be her companion. Just my opinion.
This is scary. I read something recently that says babies who are placed in forward-facing carriers, (the kind that are wrapped or buckled around the adult's waist), are likely to develop hip displasia. so I have a better understanding from that, too, of why newborns face their caregiver when worn. They have better support for their legs.
Reyami, I think what you're doing is actually not a bad idea at all.
I got my daughter a fish bowl when she was very young with magnetic fish. The magnetism caused the fish to swim around. Then she could practice cleaning the water, stuff like that, till she was prepared to have an actual pet.
As to carrying the baby that is about as flexible as it gets I think. I used to stick my daughter in my jacket like a baby puppy with her face against my chest so she wouldn't get cold from the cold wind.
it wouldn't take much from a software perspective to make a doll cry and kick eratically, although to have it respond to your comforting or changing would require some primitive AI something like the Furby systems use.
The reality is that just like an artificial intelligence learns, you and the baby would learn each other's responses.
Also I carried mine in a backpack once she was a bit older, a few months old. If you're blind, that's really convenient because you'll hit anything before the baby does.
And when they get older, you can have them go for a ride on your shoulders, or that's what I did. Then teach them to keep leaning forward so they won't hit their head on a tree branch or something. I know a bipedal transport's probably a bit bumpy for them, but at least in my daughter's case, she didn't seem to mind even when I went fast.
Never heard of this hobby before. But as both a parent and a software developer, it would be interesting to be employed as someone working on the intelligence in the doll robotics.
Now, I dare any of you to create a doll teenager. Let's see: that would say "What ever!", "Leave me alone!", "Dad, do you have any money?" and when you answer: "No. do you?" It would stick its pretty little lower lip out in a very theatrical sulk.
And let's see: if it was a teenage boy ... remembering from my own youth ... it would carelessly break your things, leave your tools out in the rain, and fail to report that it was planning to come home late that night. Lol
lol you should do this Leo!
i've not heard of men partaking in this particular hobby. It could possibly used as a temporary solution to helping one cope with empty nest syndrome, I suppose, but beyond that, not so much a guy thing, unless you really, really love babies.
I'm not doing it, you kidding me? I've got a baby girl in college and aging parents on both sides. That's enough. I see these empty nest parents go out and get a dog or something and I think: "What in the hell did you do that for?" Lol but if they're gonna make baby simulation dolls for you guuys, they should pee and pooh on you, teethe, get colic and scream incessantly through the night, bite your ear, pull your hair, start wanting attention as soon as you pick up the phone, and so forth.
I may be a crank, but am thoroughly unconvinced by your descriptions thus far lol.
But hey do what you want, weird looks or not.
All hobbies are weird to anyone who isn't into them. Allthe comments men have dealt with for decades, being called immature because they want to do something other than earn and pull second shift, like maybe hit the pub and engage in a little pint-hoisting, or go fishing, get a motorcycle, stuff like that.
If men for decades, nay generations, can be called immature for doing anything other than earn, pull second shift at home and listen to her, you can handle a few weird looks for your hobby interest. You only live once, and most that life is going to be spent earning, so why not spend a little? Hell, I'd have that motorcycle myself if I could see to drive it, one reason the Wife says She's glad I can't see.
No, I totally agree, the dolls really do need to do that. they'd be expensive as hell, but much more realistic than weighted, realist-looking dolls.
Yeah not sure I'd want to carry around a doll with me, but I've played games on iOS like Baby Adopter and My Baby Sim. But that's cool if you like it.